Loving yourself, your life, your partner or the world deepens when you no longer require a reason or explanation for that love.


If in every moment you said to yourself “I choose love”, your life would be radically different! This simple but profound statement can change your life. If you desire a life of peace and love, you must first become that in your own house. When I say house, I mean in your body and mind; your spirit already knows the depths of the endlessness nature of love.  Love is an ever expanding power in the universe that grows and expands within us every time we give it away. Its expansion enriches our lives and enlivens our connection with others. Often we hold back our love and reserve it for a select few we call family and friends. To hold back our love and to restrict it to a select few, diminishes our ability to tap into a much larger aspect of love.

To enliven our experience with love, requires us to move from Conditional Love, to Unconditional Love. Anytime we share our love with another there is an automatic presence of God in the moment you’re in. For God is love! When we love ourselves or others the spirit of unity opens up between two people. Unity is a divine truth; there is a rapid discovery of that truth, when we love one another.  If there were a recipe for a rich and full life, invariably you would find that love is the first ingredient.

For many years I protected my heart and withheld my love in fear of getting hurt. I didn’t realize that in the process of restricting myself from giving my love freely, I was closing to door for more love to enter my life. Love moves in a great circle, as it flows out of us it eventually comes back, it becomes a never ending loop that moves to and from us. It should never be any of our concern as to how and when it will return. Just trust in God and over time you will see loves return. When love returns to us it has a deeper and richer essence to it, this is loves expansive nature.

If we give out of expectation, then we are not really giving our love, we are just lending it.

We all know how lending our things usually plays out, we either don’t get the things we lent back, or when it’s returned, it doesn’t show up in the same condition. The main point here is, if we are not giving whole heartedly, then we are really not giving at all. Love is without limit, there is no cap on how much is available for us to experience and share.

Conditional Love

Love makes a lousy prisoner, while in custody it will begin to dissolve and eventually completely vanish from our entrapment. The reason for this is because love is not a possession, it’s a gift we share. When we personalize love and reduce it down to a possession we greatly diminish the power it contains. Loves omnipotent power is super charged when we stake no claim to it and give it freely to the world around us.

We love from the place we are in and often how we are taught to love by others. How we were taught to love doesn’t always teach us the true essence of what love is or how to love. As small children we are praised when we are good and shown more love if we acted in accordance to our parent’s rules. This is not the case with all parents, however there is an underlining truth to this. My mother was a master of showing me love. Even with that in place, I learned as a little boy that I was praised more if I was useful, entertaining or obedient. This taught me that I get extra love if I was any or all of those things.  This caused me to develop an expectation for love. If I do something for another than my reward should be they give back to me. This also it sets up a dynamic that we begin to expect things from people before we will share our love with them. I can see how this played out in all of my intimate relationships. When my partner didn’t give me what I expected, I would become angry and then I would cut off the supply of love I was willing to give them. This is the premise of the cold shoulder treatment. If giving the cold shoulder was a sport, I would have been an Olympic contender! I could give the cold shoulder for just about any reason. When love is given as reward or for the need of a reward, it’s a love that is just plain selfish. It’s a love that says I love you because you do things for me.

Removing the conditions off of our love requires us to take a close look at ourselves. One of the biggest factors that helped me move towards an unconditional state was, I stared to love myself. One of the main reasons I was very conditional with my love is that I didn’t love myself and I treated myself very poorly. I found loving myself very difficult to do for many years of my life, it was much easier to give my love away than it was to love myself. There was a time when I didn’t love myself at all and I didn’t think I was all that lovable. This was the deep dark secret that I hid below my anger. I didn’t think I was good enough and because of that, I created an image of myself was that I was worthless. There came a time when I wanted to improve myself and to heal the sad story of me. I started by observing my behavior. Most often I didn’t even know I was acting out, as I was running on automatic pilot just reacting to everything. I started to make mental notes as to when I got angry and I began to let go of the thoughts I was having in my mind during these times. When I began to feel my emotions rise I would take stock of my thoughts and what was causing me to react in that moment. What I began to notice is that, more often than not, there wasn’t anything wrong with the moment I was in, it was reminding me of a painful event in my past. When you begin to feel your emotions rise within, embrace yourself with love, breathe and return to the present moment.

Next step towards loving ourselves is to end the self-violence. In my mind I was cruel and abusive towards myself. I would criticize my every action and verbally assault myself thousands of times a day.  I would never dare tolerate another person to talk to me the way I would talk to myself. I didn’t think anything was wrong when I called myself fat, stupid, worthless and many more things. I learned to stop screaming at myself in my mind. Who in their right mind would scream at themselves? It usually didn’t take much to bring on a yelling fit in my mind. Another way I would punishment myself, was overworking. For years I would work seven days a week until I burned out and crashed for a few days then I would start all over again. When we don’t give ourselves down time, what we are really saying to ourselves is that we are not worthy of taking a break.

The violent voice in me always told me I couldn’t do things and that I was never good enough, but each time I didn’t listen to that voice in my head, it got quieter and less obtrusive in my life. Now it’s nothing but a whisper to me that tries to get my attention from time to time. The amount of love we experience in our lives corresponds with the love we have for ourselves. As we learn to love ourselves the world reflects that back to us. Again that’s the circular effect of love. If you find the world to be a cold, unlovable place it might be time for you to look at the love you have for yourself. Look into your heart and find your most lovable aspects. Love with conditions, is like apple juice without apples. There really is no love in conditional love. We are merely just projecting an expectation onto another.

Unconditional Love

Love is the bridge into deeper wisdom, when we choose love we are taking that first step across the bridge. If we observe people acting out and projecting their stress or anger onto us this is a good time for us to practice unconditional love. When people act out it’s a good indication that they are most likely in the need of our love. By not taking other people’s problems personally we have the ability to stand back and just hold them in perfect love. When we do this we provide a safe environment for others to heal. It also allows them to rise up to a greater potential within themselves. When I hold an angry people in love what tends to happen is either they leave or they soften and melt in my presence. Unconditional love has the power to transform people.

There have been very few people who have come to this earth who have been able to raise their consciousness to the level of unconditional love, however that doesn’t mean that the power of unconditional love cannot work through us in any given moment. The more we give ourselves over to love, we grow our potential to transmute lower levels of consciousness in others just by remaining still and present. One of the ways we can access deeper levels of love is to work at reducing our fears. The great thing is that the more we love, we become more fearless.  The world is not an unsafe place, we don’t need to put so much attention on the fear being projected onto us.

Unconditional love doesn’t always show up in our life with a pearly white smile. When I think of unconditional love, I often associate it with a squishy jelly feeling in my heart that touches me deeply. This is not always the case, sometimes the most loving thing we can give or receive from another is honesty. We sometimes avoid the truth or actually don’t see it at all. Our great teachers of love sometimes show up in the most unlikely places and circumstances. There have been many times I have said things to others that could be perceived as mean. Often the hardest thing to tell someone is sometimes just the thing they need to hear the most.

When we practice unconditional love, we are less likely to pass judgments onto people. This type of love allows us to see others from a different vantage point, we tend to find where we are similar to others versus seeing our differences. By observing myself in others it allows me to become more compassionate and caring towards my fellow man. We require nothing and we lose nothing by giving our love, but we gain the world in the process. Open your heart and door for others and love them as you would want to be loved; then watch the miracles take place around you. This is only the very beginning of what unconditional love is. To truly know it, one has to live it and experience it for themselves. My account of love or anyone else’s can never really touch what is truly there to be experienced. Its better lived then read about. Being unconditional with our love calls us to choose love always. Maintaining a willingness requires a devotion to our practice of love.

Love is deep and without bottom, as we grow in consciousness we also grow in our understanding of love. For many years of my life I was in love. I would step into love with people, places and sometimes the things in my life. Love for me, has deepened, I am becoming more “of Love” versus being “in love”. Spending more time resting in the love, that’s inside of me, has transformed me to exude the love that I am. By knowing love more, I experience a deeper presence of God into my life.

Fear cannot live in a house love rules.

Love has removed fear from my life, giving me a more powerful position to express myself through. Fear admonishes us from trusting in love, it tells us we are not safe and separate from others, whereas, love provides us with the providence of God and shows us how we are all one of the same.

A life without love, is really not a life at all. Love brings understanding to the most unexplainable things in life. Its silent nature embraces us and brings meaning to our human endeavours. It knows perseverance, for it’s there with you during your toughest times giving you just the right support you need to push you a bit further when it doesn’t seem possible. There is no place where loves does not fit, its malleable presence can fit in anywhere, anytime in our lives. Its nature is simple but nearly impossible to put to words because the depth that it contains.

The reason all of this is true is because love is God and God is love. By entering into love we become the embodiment of God here on earth. This is how we are to bring heaven to earth, we simply love, and God appears.  When we love, the depth and intelligence of the entire cosmos can flow from us into all that we do.

O, what wonder is our love, the entire universe in not large enough to contain it yet it lives within us with full consciousness of how grand it is.

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